It was like living in another world
As though I were under a spell’
Like stepping into a mirror
To a place where I was untouchable

I felt strong and powerful
This was all that was important to me
So much of my life I felt small
Then suddenly, one day I am big

In the beginning I felt guilty
But guilt is a sign of weakness
I needed to become stronger
To become feared and respected

I had separated from feelings
Feeling nothing was safe
I did not have to judge my feelings
I only felt what I was told to feel

Then all of the rules changed
I was freed from the chains of guilt forever
I was allowed to take my place
My rightful place of power, as master

It’s like killing a chicken
You feel a rush through your body
In the other world you say no
This feeling is wrong, bad

But then I was allowed to feel
I enjoyed killing the chicken
I was God, master over life
To kill became the ultimate orgasm

And each time I killed
Each time I performed the ritual of death
I became closer to God
Closer to the powerful magic