for Heiner

Forgive
What an absurd idea!
If we forgive it absolves responsibility
Then after we forgive, what then?
Do we all sit around coffee telling secrets
The secrets we have protected for fifty years?
We all have secrets you know

I will tell you my secret
Then you will see how absurd it is
To believe we can forgive
I will never forgive myself!

There was a woman in my village
A very beautiful woman
In her house she was hiding a Jew
I knew this and I was silent
I kept this secret for a very long time

One day I saw her talking to my husband
They were laughing together
I became jealous, but again remained silent
I imagined many things and began to hate her

One day I became so angry
In my moment of anger I told the SS
They took her away with the Jew
No one knew who told the SS
Only I knew this secret about myself

And you want to talk of forgiveness
Do you understand how many secrets there are?
Do you understand the implications of forgiving?
Don’t you understand that it is easier
If we take our secrets to our graves?

To forgive is too painful
We will never forgive!

Let us suffer the pain we deserve!